However, “loving” your kid and finding the right match for your kid are not always synonymous. There are critical ways in which my parents do not understand me – they love me, but there are things they just don’t “get”. The same is true for a lot of people. In my case they don’t get why I am an atheist, why I prefer the city to the country, why I don’t want a traditional corporate career (they never expected that I’d stay home, so at least we agree there), why I prefer living abroad or why I am an ardent feminist. I’m an adult now – when younger they might have said “you’ll understand when you’re older, you’ll see that we’re right and wiser than you”. Well, now I’m older, and I see that my beliefs, values and preferences are just as valid. My choice based on my beliefs and values, I believe, is better for me than the choice they might have made for me based on their different beliefs and values. And yet I do not doubt that they love me – just that ‘love’ doesn’t mean the same thing as ‘understanding’.