Quality of writing : The accuracy of spelling, grammar and punctuation are all good. The writer does use some technical terms however some more casual phrases are also used such as Ã¢â‚¬Ëœletting people inÃ¢â‚¬â„¢; I think it would be better to re-word this in order to sound more formal. Also, the writer uses lots of contractions Ã¢â‚¬â€œ it would be more conventional to write Ã¢â‚¬Å“do notÃ¢â‚¬Â rather than Ã¢â‚¬Å“donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢tÃ¢â‚¬Â. Additionally, the last paragraph weakens the overall argument as it is based too much on the writerÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s own opinion rather than on solid evidence. To improve this, they should refer back to each evaluative point throughout the essay (this brings the whole thing together and reminds the reader how much evidence argues for and against), then come to a final decision on the success of the theory.
Star Rating: 3